“Code of conduct” – Short form

• We start at 18:00 sharp. be on time.
• At the discussion meetings, there is a planned break after about half the time, and you can take a break whenever you want beyond that without saying anything.
• We do not pass on what was said in the room in a way that can be traced back to any specific person.
• Do not suggest solutions, or offer opinions about other members of the group unless they have clearly asked for it.
• Respect each other’s names and pronouns.
• Interpret each other kindly. Communication is difficult, sometimes it goes wrong!
• If someone misbehaves or breaks the rules, reach out to an organizer who handles it.
• We are creating this together, so feel free to bring ideas and suggestions about how you want the Neuroqueer Meeting Place to be. Take this on the round at the end or via mail or discord.
• This is a participant forum so keep in mind that there is limited support available around sensitive issues.
• This is a group for adults, so some of the conversations and topics may be sensitive.
• Two-minute rounds : at the discussion meetings, we use two-minute rounds, where everyone gets the opportunity to talk for two minutes each without being interrupted by anyone. This is alternated with open discussion.

“Code of conduct” – Long form

We start at 6 pm.

Please be on time. If you arrive late to the discussion meetings, you will miss the instructions, and these will not be repeated every time a new person arrives. If you have questions, you must wait until the break or your turn in the round to ask them.
Feedback

Neuroqueer is a participant forum.

None of the organizers has a therapeutic role, but Neuroqueer consists of peer support. We all support each other on equal terms, according to our own conditions.

This means that there is limited support from us organizers around sensitive issues, so keep that in mind when you choose what you share and take part in. You can leave the room whenever you want without explaining why, and come back whenever you want.

Neuroqueer is a group for adults.

Conversations, activities and topics handled in Neuroqueer meeting place can be sensitive, and the ambition is not to keep the conversation at a child-friendly level. Whoever chooses to participate is aware of this.

You choose how much to participate. 

You choose for yourself whether you want to participate in the rounds and the discussion or just sit in and listen. You can show with a red card in front of you if you don’t want to talk right now. You can switch back and forth as you like during the meeting. We never ask anyone why they don’t want to talk.

If you don’t signal red, we will try to make sure that everyone who wants to get to speak. We all try to leave room for everyone, and create space for those who have not yet been allowed to speak.

Wee use 2-minute rounds

In order for everyone to have the opportunity to participate in the conversation, we use a concept we call two-minute rounds, where everyone who wants to can talk for two minutes about the topic the round is about. Read about how the 2-minute rounds work here.

We have a checkin-round in the beginning of each meeting

We always start with a check-in round, where everyone gets the opportunity to say their name and pronouns, and can bring up things like how they feel today and if they have any thoughts about the previous meeting’s theme or for tonight’s meeting. You choose what and how much you want to share on this round.

There is a planned break in the discussion meetings.

We have a planned 15-20 minute coffee break. This happens after about half the time. You can always take a break whenever you want on top of that, and you don’t have to say or explain why.

Do not offer solutions och advice if not asked.

We are all different. Some need to vent without others trying to step in and suggest solutions, others like to hear how others would have handled their situation. If you want other people’s opinions or help dealing with a situation, ask for it. If someone else didn’t ask for opinions or solutions, avoid commenting on their story in such a way.

We do not pass om what is said on the meetings.

It can be important to have the opportunity to continue thinking about the topics we cover, and to be able to talk further with a safe person who might not have been there. But it is equally important that we respect the privacy of others. If you want to talk to others about neuroqueer, do it in a way that no outsider can figure out who was at the meeting, or who said what you are recounting. You can take notes to take home to remember things, but do not write identifying information such as other people’s names.

Respect peoples names and pronouns 

We don’t assume people’s pronouns. Regardless of what people look like, we don’t guess or assume people’s pronouns at Neuroqueer Meetionplace. If you have not been told someone’s pronoun, then preferably use a name, or a gender-neutral pronoun such as they. Anyone who wants is welcome to try out a new name or pronoun at our meetings, so remember that people’s names and pronouns do not have to be the same as last time.

There is always the opportunity to write a name tag with pronouns at our meetings. It is completely optional to write one, but it makes it a lot easier for others to see which name and pronoun you use.

If someone accidentally says the wrong pronoun, it’s good to briefly and kindly correct the person who said it wrong, without making a big deal out of it. Should the problem repeat itself, bring it to the attention of one of our organizers, and we will talk to the person separately.

Interpret each other kindly!

Communication can be difficult. Try to assume that people mean well when they speak, even if you don’t agree with what they say. If you think what they say sounds strange, feel free to ask what they meant before assuming things. Keep in mind that this should be a context where we are permissive and open to people’s differences. Many people are very afraid of making mistakes, so try to meet others with kindness and understanding.

We do not allow transphobia, homophobia, racism or funkophobia.

If someone behaves transphobic, homophobic, racist or funkophobic, it is best to let us, the organizers, talk to the person. Sometimes things just come out wrong and are easy to change, and we give people room to grow and learn. If the behavior continues, however, the person may be excluded from the group.

If you feel that someone has behaved badly in one of these ways, let us know so that we can talk to the person.

If someone does not follow this code.

If someone violates these rules of conduct, or in some other way makes the meeting a difficult experience for you, please contact an organizer and let us handle the situation. We fully understand that for many of us it can be difficult to remember and follow all the rules for various reasons, so our goal is to have a dialogue and to provide an opportunity to learn and continue to participate in the meetings. Intentional, repeated violations of the rules will not be tolerated, however, and may result in the person no longer being welcome to the Neuroqueer meeting place.

We create this together.

Neuroqueer is for us, by us. If you have suggestions for improvement, ideas about what we can do, topics of conversation, do not hesitate to talk to one of the organizers during the break or after the meeting. You can also write to our email or on our discord channel. You will find links to these at Neuroqueers homepage.

On our Discord chanal you can continue the discussion, and keep in touch between meetings.